My first Mothers Day

I remember Mother’s Day; we were on a “break” and you admitted to sleeping with a woman. Twice my age… 
It hurt. 

We vowed to only make love to each other. 

I kept my promise. Even though;

We weren’t calling each other baby and shit.. 
Even though; we wasn’t getting nasty; fucking all crazy n shit.. 

Making it do what it do. 

Through all the bullshit; I still wanted you. 
I even inboxed her to get the full story. 

Cause this shit just can’t be true. 

She confessed; it was nothing to her and your just a good guy who knew what he wanted; supposedly that’s where I fit. 
Loving me must feel like hitting a lick

Cause you never know what you’re gonna get; 

Loving you was a hit and a miss. 

I should have never removed my too harsh diss; when I wrote postpartum Blues.

Even after depression, 

When it comes to you

I’m still receiving terrible news

And the bad part is; IDEFWU 

Somebody call blues clues 

So he can give my love some tools he can use 

I threw you away cause I refused to keep being abused… 
Mentally, emotionally 

And the time I hit you with my car; repeatedly… 

trying to get my point across

That if you died that day

I wouldn’t be sad; maybe relieved

From all this pain you’ve caused 
Oh and the time I smacked you upside ya head with that African wood; 

I didn’t see blood 

So I guess the stroke wasn’t too good
You love me?

All the fucked up stunts you pulled; 

made it impossible to believe. 

That’s when I realized the door to my life was wide open! 

I desire you to leave. 
I thought you loved me; it was all an illusion 

I thought you loved my son; your absence laughs at me

I thought you loved yourself 

That’s where we got it all twisted. 

You have to love yourself, King. 

My first Mother’s Day. 

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